4. Infertility and the Bible
Infertility has been a source of great sadness, and even anguish, for
some married couples since Old Testament times. Many infertile
Christians today ask questions like, “Is God punishing me? Is it
God’s will for everyone to multiply? Should I claim the promises
of the Old Testament?” Well-intentioned advice from friends or
family sometimes implies that infertile couples have unconfessed sin in
their lives or that their prayer lives are insufficient. But nothing
could be further from the truth.
Be fruitful and multiply. This commandment by God to
Adam and Eve and also to Noah was appropriate in the context of the
God’s new creation of the world, but in the New Testament, the
focus is shifted from a physical multiplication to a spiritual
multiplication. Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:7-8 says, ”I wish that all
men were [single] as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one
has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I
say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.” Paul not
only recommended a life without children, but a life without marriage so
that one could devote all his time to accomplishing Christ’s
command that we spread the Gospel message.40
Context, context, context. Many couples read the Old
Testament stories of Hannah, Sarah and others and claim the promises of
fertility that these women enjoyed after their struggles. This is one
good example of when context must be considered. God’s plan for
Hannah was a son named Samuel that would later become a prophet and
judge; his plan for Sarah included a nation of children. Likewise, his
plan for you is unique to only you. Instead of claiming promises meant
for someone else, claim the promise that God will bless those who are
obedient to Him.41
Infertility: a curse? The Old Testament contains a
variety of stories where God punishes a society or a person with
infertility. One such instance is when David’s wife, Michal,
ridicules him for dancing before the Lord and as a result “had no
children to the day of her death” (2 Samuel 6:23). Although God
would have been justified in cursing Michal, the text does not say she
could not, only that she did not have children. Perhaps the reason she
did not have children was because she and her husband were not intimate
from that day forward.
In the other few cases of individual infertility in the Old
Testament, the reasons were spelled out under the law of Moses. They
were: 1) an aunt and nephew who slept together (Leviticus 20:20), 2) a
man who married his brother’s wife while the brother was still
alive (Leviticus 20:21) and 3) a female who committed adultery (Numbers
5:20). The good news is that we now live under a New Covenant of grace
and forgiveness through Jesus Christ.42
"For this reason Christ is the
mediator of a new covenant, that those who are called may receive the
promised eternal inheritance—now that he has died as a ransom to
set them free from the sins committed under the first covenant”
(Hebrews 9:15).
So what morals are we to learn from the Biblical stories of
infertility?
1) God answers prayer.
I Samuel 1 tells the story of Hannah and Peninnah, the two wives of
Elkanah. Peninnah was blessed with children, but the Lord had
“closed the womb” of Hannah. Peninnah tortured Hannah
because she did not have any children, and this made Hannah depressed
and unable to eat, two of many same symptoms of infertile women today.
It also bothered Elkanah, who loved Hannah more than Peninnah. He
demonstrated the frustration of many infertile husbands when he cried,
“Am I not enough?” (1 Samuel 1:8) So Hannah cried to the
Lord in 1 Samuel 1:11:
“O Lord Almighty, if you will
only look upon your servant’s misery and remember me, and not
forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord
for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his
head.”
The Lord heard Hannah’s prayer and she became pregnant with one
of the great prophets of the Old Testament, Samuel. Hannah trusted God
through her pain and He rewarded her for her obedience.43
2) Don’t give up on God.
In Genesis, the Lord promised Abraham that he would be the
father of many nations, and that he would give him a son through his
wife Sarah, saying that “kings of peoples will come from
her” (Genesis 17:16). But years passed and Sarah remained barren.
She became impatient with God, so Sarah came up with the idea to use
their maidservant Hagar to gain a family. She gave Hagar to her husband
and Hagar became pregnant (Genesis 16:2-4). At this point, the two women
despised each other and the Lord told Hagar to name her son Ishmael, who
would be “a wild donkey of a man; his hand will be against
everyone and everyone’s hand against him, and he will live in
hostility toward all his brothers” (Genesis 16:12).
But finally, when Sarah was a very old woman, God planted a seed in
her that would in fact, result in a nation of people—the nation of
Israel. She gave birth to Isaac when she was 90 years old, and the
nations of the two half-brothers have fought ever since. Sarah’s
impatience and unwillingness to wait on the Lord resulted in a child of
conflict.
3) God’s will is more important than having a
child.
Contrary to the belief that infertility is a punishment from God, many
“infertile” women in the Bible went on to give birth to some
of the most important figures in Biblical history. Perhaps this means
that the reason for these births was not for the “infertile”
woman’s satisfaction of having a child, but to fulfill the bigger
picture. Samson’s mother, for example, was barren for many years
before an angel of the Lord appeared to her, saying,
“You are sterile and childless, but you are going to
conceive and have a son…No razor may be used on his head, because
the boy is to be a Nazirite, set apart to God from birth, and he will
begin the deliverance of Israel from the hands of the Philistines”
(Judges 13:3-5).
The woman, named only “wife of Manoah”, ran to her
husband with the good news that she would give birth to a son. But she
managed to leave out the most important part, that their son would
deliver Israel out of 40 years of conflict with the Philistines. When
Manoah asked the angel of the Lord to send more information about what
their son would do in life, the angel said,
“Let the woman pay attention to all that I said. She should
not eat anything that comes from the vine nor drink wine or strong
drink, nor eat any unclean thing; let her observe all that I
commanded” (Judges 13:13 NASB).
The woman in this story was so focused on having a baby that she
forgot the most important message: that God had a plan for her son. When
someone is unnamed, as “Manoah’s wife” is, it
generally means that she has brought dishonor to herself, that she has
failed in some way.44 Samson’s mother teaches us all
that it’s not about us, it’s all about God. Even when the
answer is “no”, as it was even to Jesus in the Garden of
Gethsemane when he asked for his suffering to pass (Matthew 26:39),
obedience is paramount.
God’s plan for me may not include
children.
Scripture defines a family as being composed of one woman and one man
joined in exclusive commitment, and it calls children resulting from
that union a gift from God. In
The Infertility Companion,
Sandra Glahn and William Cutrer, MD write:
45
"Much of life is cause and effect, so it’s easy to let the
mentality that we’ve earned a child creep into our view of God and
Christian life. We think that if we do certain things—right
things—voila! God will bless us with wealth, children, and
whatever else we might want. So we establish a mentality of entitlement.
We think, ‘If I go to church, read my Bible, pray—bingo! God
is honor-bound to bless me with a child.’ When the nursery stays
empty, we wonder why we failed to get our prize when we have put our
dollar of obedience into the machines. We think that either the machine
is broken or we are.
“Job’s friends had just such a cause-and-effect view of
life, and it got them into trouble. They assumed Job was suffering
because he must have done something awful. Later God told them that they
had not spoken rightly about him, as Job had. Ultimately justice
prevails, but not always in this life. Those who have eternal life in
knowing Jesus Christ (John 3:16) have the promise that God will never
leave us (Hebrews 13:5). And God’s presence is the greatest thing
in all of life, because it is the only thing that brings true, lasting
soul satisfaction. We have no promise that he will give us any temporal
benefits. And even if God does answer the prayer for children, those
blessings will never satisfy us at the deepest levels of our souls. Only
intimacy with the Father through the Son satisfies the soul’s
deepest longings.”
What does the Bible say about adoption?
We have all heard the story of Moses being put in a basket and being
picked up by the Pharoah’s daughter in Exodus. Could this be the
first recorded case of adoption in history? As the story goes, Pharoah
sent out a decree at that time that all Hebrew baby boys were to be
“thrown into the Nile” (Exodus 1:22), because they were
beginning to outnumber the Egyptians. Moses’ mother managed to
hide him for three months, but when she could no longer hide her baby
boy, she covered a basket with tar and pitch and gently put her baby
into the basket. The Pharoah’s daughter was bathing with her maids
by the bank of the Nile and spotted the basket. When she saw the baby,
she decided it must be one of the Hebrew babies and she felt sorry for
him (Exodus 2:5-6).
Seeing this take place, Moses’ sister went to Pharoah’s
daughter and offered to take the baby to be nursed. She agreed and so
Moses’ mother was able to care for him until he was older. At that
time, he went to the house of Pharoah, where he was raised (Exodus
2:7-11). This instance of adoption in the Bible is significant because
it refutes the claim by some that if God gifts you with a child, you
should not give that child up. Moses’ mother loved him enough to
let him go and trusted God to take care of her son.46
Hadassah, also known as Esther, was adopted as well. Esther 2:7 says,
“Mordecai had a cousin named Hadassah, whom he had brought up
because she had neither father nor mother. This girl, who was also known
as Esther, was lovely in form and features, and Mordecai had taken her
as his own daughter when her father and mother died.”
And finally, another adoption that takes place in the Bible is the
adoption of the church by Christ. Everyone who believes in Christ is
adopted by God into His kingdom.47 Romans 8:15, 22-23 says:
“For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave
again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we
cry, ‘Abba, Father’…We know that the whole creation
has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present
time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the
Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the
redemption of our bodies.”
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